What to Do When Your Child Picks Up “New Words” From School Friends

It always happens when you’re not expecting it. You’re helping with homework, arranging dinner, or having a normal conversation, and your child suddenly uses a word or phrase that clearly didn’t come from home. Not necessarily a terrible word, but something off… something you know they picked up from school. You pause and feel that small jolt of worry.

And you think, “Oh no… where did they learn that?”

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Almost every parent faces this moment when their child starts interacting with peers. The good news? You can guide your child calmly, wisely, and without making them feel embarrassed or afraid. Here’s how to handle it with confidence and clarity.

1. Stay Calm, Your Reaction Matters Most

Your first reaction shapes everything. If you jump, scold, or look shocked, your child may stop sharing things with you, or they may repeat the word more because of the attention it brought. A calm tone works best: “Where did you hear that?”

This keeps the conversation open and helps you gain a better understanding of the situation.

2. Find the Source, Without Blaming or Judging

Children are naturally curious. They copy things because they sound funny, powerful, or grown-up, not because they want to misbehave. Listen to their answer calmly.

Most times, the word came from:

• School friends

• Older kids

• Cartoons

• YouTube

• Bus or playground conversations

When you don’t judge them, they feel safe to tell you the truth.

3. Explain Why the Word Isn’t OK

Children don’t need lectures. They need short, clear explanations they can understand. You can say:

“That word can hurt feelings.”

“It doesn’t sound polite.”

“Allah loves kind speech.”

“In our family, we choose respectful words.”

One or two sentences are enough. Avoid long lectures; they often overwhelm kids instead of guiding them.

4. Teach Better Alternatives

Telling a child not to say something isn’t enough. They need to know what to say instead. For example, instead of “shut up,” teach: “Please be quiet.”

Instead of rude slang, teach: “I don’t like that.”

Instead of insulting phrases, teach: “That wasn’t nice.”

Giving alternatives empowers them to handle real situations gracefully.

5. Teach the Power of Words, In a Simple Way

You don’t need long moral lessons. Small reminders work beautifully:

“Words stay in people’s hearts.”

“You can make someone feel better or worse with your words.”

“Good words make you strong.”

These short lines stick with children more than you realize.

6. Build a Home Environment of Good Speech

Children absorb what they hear the most. If your home is filled with calm tones, polite phrases, and gentle corrections, they naturally adopt them. Let your home be their reference point. When they hear something rough outside, they instantly think, “This doesn’t sound like home.” That awareness protects them even when you’re not there.

7. Avoid Insulting Their Friend

Comments like: “Your friends are rude.” “Stop playing with that child" and so on, can push your child into hiding things from you. Focus on behaviour, not people: say things like these instead: “Some kids don’t realise those words are hurtful.” “You can choose better words even if others don’t.” “You don’t have to copy everything you hear.”

This teaches leadership instead of fear.

8. Role-Play Real Situations

Help your child practice what to do when:

• A friend uses a bad word

• Someone asks them to repeat it

• The group laughs and encourages them

  
  

Teach them gentle responses such as:

“I don’t say that.”

“That word isn’t nice.”

“I don’t want to talk like that.”

Practicing builds confidence and prepares them for real school moments.

9. Praise the Effort

When your child corrects themselves or chooses better words, celebrate it. Say:

“I saw how you corrected yourself. That was mature.”

“You used such polite words today.”

“I’m proud of how you handled that.”

Positive reinforcement shapes behaviour more effectively than punishment.

10. Keep the Emotional Connection Strong

At the end of the day, children listen to the voices they feel connected to. Spend time chatting, checking in, laughing together, and asking about their day. When your bond is strong, your influence is stronger than any peer pressure.

Finally

Your child picking up “new words” doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means they’re growing, exploring, and learning from the world around them. With calm guidance, simple explanations, and consistent modeling at home, your child can learn to choose respectful, kind speech, regardless of what they hear outside. You are their biggest influence, and they’re watching you closely. Your gentle teaching makes a bigger impact than you may ever realise.